"Children learn to smile from their parents." -Shinichi Suzuki

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Worst Night Ever!

The day after Reese's tube surgery she seemed off all day. She was running a low fever and not eating well. The scariest part to me was that she was SSSOOO lethargic...she would be awake for about 20 min and couldn't keep her eyes open and have to take another nap...now that she is crawling and cruising it was VERY out of character. She started to feel really warm so I took her temp and it was 101.5...after Tylenol and Motrin it wasn't coming down at all, it actually went up a little...so i called our dr and he told us to go the emergency room. Long story short she had developed a type of pneumonia that comes from not getting all the gas anesthesia worked out of her lungs (which is why adults blow into those things that make the little balls go up after surgery)....that night was horrible. She had to have IV fluids because she was dehydrated and blood drawn and a chest xray...at one point she was so exhausted from crying so much she couldn't even cry anymore...I think I held it together pretty well for the most part...but I lost it when they were trying to get the blood drawn and had to stick her twice and move the needle around in her little arm...they finally gave up and did a heel prick instead...it was just awful.

I hope to NEVER have to go through anything like that again and think that the parents of chronically sick babies deserve all the credit in the world for what they go through. What a strong bunch you are!

Of course my mommy guilt has taken over these last few days. I know they needed to do those tests, but I feel like I should have made them stop trying to get the blood sooner. After typing it I realize how silly it sounds, but all I can picture in my mind is how sad and upset my baby looked lying on that table, wonding why I wasn't helping her. Even typing it makes me cry. All I could do was hold her hand, stroke her hair and whisper "it's gonna be okay" in her ear.

"She won't remember any of it" that's what I keep repeating to myself...those were the comforting words of one of the nurses that took care of Reese in the ER.

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